"Les eleves font de la neige"

Les eleves (the students) can also font de l'orage (make hurricanes) as well as la neige (snow), meaning that they're getting wild and generally making crazy. But don't say this anywhere outside of the Vosges, because everyone else in France will think you're talking about children manning artifical snow machines.

I'm slowly picking up (and being happily taught by various Vosgiens) some local slang, which is at once hilarious and worrisome, knowing that when I travel out to Paris for Christmas this year, I might actually end up sounding like une vraie plouc (a real hick).

Besides the rather thick accent (which elongates o's and is a very round, in-the-mouth kind of accent), some words and phrases that won't make it past Champagne include:

"ca caille!" (it's freezing!)
"vain dieux!" (literally, "vain gods," used as a vulgar exclamation)
"c'est fin bon" or "fin nul" (it's really good, or it really sucks)
"il pleut comme les vaches qui pissent!" (it's raining like pissing cows!)
"moooooooh" (strange noise people make when something is extreme)

And these are just a few. The slang is based on Patois, the old language of the Lorraine region that has basically died out (similar to what's happening to Alsacian) and is only remembered by the old and spoken via slang by the young. For as much as I complain about being stuck au milieu de nulle part (in the middle of nowhere), it is pretty cool to be living in a community so steeped in tradition.

Cheese comme d'habitude:

Morbier: the middle line is not actually mold, as this is not a blue cheese; it's vegetable ash. Traditionally, when the farmers made this cheese, they would throw their milk into the cheese tub, then pour vegetable ash over it to protect the milk from outside bacteria. The next day, they would pour more milk over the ash, leaving a gray line in the middle of the cheese. Aromatic almost like camembert, but in a sharp kind of way. Really good.

It's been such a fascinating experience trying all these different cheeses, most of them made relatively close to Gerardmer. Not only have I learned so many cool new facts, but so many things about what cheese means to the French people, how much pride they take in creating it, how to eat it properly, everything. A traditional French meal begins with an aperitif, then an entree (appetizer), then the meal, then maybe a salad, then dessert, and lastly: the cheese. I'm not sure what might be going on chemically on biologically, but there's something about having ate an entire meal and having already drunk some wine that very seriously changes the flavor of the cheese in your mouth. (I credit this theory to my friend Danny.) No one would ever start their meal with cheese; it would be far too strong. You eat a lot, you drink a lot, and then eat your cheese, which reacts with the wine and becomes this practically tangible yet ethereal type of sensory experience that for some reason, works better with your already-primed palette than it would have a few hours ago. In other words, it's worth it to be a cheese snob. You won't regret what you paid for.