The last few weeks have probably been the most stressful of my entire life (Paris with Grandma comes in close second). Something about starting a new job, getting negative comments about your schoolwork, and having the cat defecate on everything you own just doesn't add up to a rosy spring solstice. Living with someone else doesn't make things easier, either, especially when you're too burned out to talk and too proud to say something's wrong and too depressed after realizing that you're not talking to someone you love because you're proud and mad and want to throw the cat out the window, is really the problem.
But the Wizard's behavior has since improved, I'm settled in at the new job, and this paper is really not going to get any better than it is, so why worry?
This new gig at Oxford is pretty funny. I feel like I'm fooling them, somehow, having come from the gutters of the restaurant industry with no prior knowledge of publishing. I suppose they see some value in what I'm doing, since I haven't been reprimanded for anything yet -- it's mostly administrative stuff that nonetheless feels worthwhile since it all feeds into the same path of bookmaking, which is a pretty neat process no matter how you look at it. Plus, my schedule -- 8am to 4pm -- makes me feel like I'm back in high school, with a whole half day's worth of sunlight ahead of me.
I might be past this season's major stress hump, but my creativity is jammed and I don't feel particularly inspired by much; this will improve as I adjust, I know. I just need to finish this paper!
