I've been thinking about David Foster Wallace a lot lately. I hope you know who I mean; when I finished Inifinite Jest I almost felt like I could never read another book again. His prose makes you feel like your mind is unraveling in a sinister way, and after having finished perusing a passage or two you could look up at everyone around you and feel convinced that something insane and secret has just happened to you. He committed suicide by hanging in 2008 at the age of 46; he could have been the next literary revolutionary of my generation. The more I learn about him, the more I feel like I miss him, like I missed him, like I wasn't paying enough attention to his writing while he was around. Isn't that nuts?
This is a commencement address he gave at Kenyon College in 2005, called "This is Water." I read it twice over and for some reason it made me want to cry. Here also is an interview with him and Dave Eggers for The Believer in 2003. I can never get enough of this guy.
12.1.11
11.1.11
La Nostalgie
I just finished making a photo album from France, spanning September 2009 to May 2010. It doesn't really capture a lot of what happened there, I realized: most of my pictures are beautiful still lifes (nature morte, in French), often taken during my vacations or from out my window; a couple long-armed shots taken of myself almost get it right, but the lonesome, snowy hikes were only a fraction of my daily life. What's missing from my family-friendly album is the ephemeral and half-assed photo -- the stupid image of some piece of cheese; the digital macro of a pinecone; the zany action shots taken during Skype sessions. During my most memorable moments, however, I was without a camera: during class, during my weekly rock climbing sessions, at a neighbor's house for dinner.
I can't get it all right, I guess; between this blog, my journal, and these photographs, I suppose I can recreate enough, though perhaps that's not the point. Keeping my memories alive and sharp seems as important to me as keeping my planner organized -- an admirable but unattainable goal. I'm afraid if I don't pay enough attention, or go out of my way to revisit the past, I'll lose my memories entirely, a fear that I suspect stems from the anxiety-ridden and all too frequent task of trying to remember my dreams just as I'm waking up, and just as they're slipping away. I guess there's just a lot I need to get used to.
I can't get it all right, I guess; between this blog, my journal, and these photographs, I suppose I can recreate enough, though perhaps that's not the point. Keeping my memories alive and sharp seems as important to me as keeping my planner organized -- an admirable but unattainable goal. I'm afraid if I don't pay enough attention, or go out of my way to revisit the past, I'll lose my memories entirely, a fear that I suspect stems from the anxiety-ridden and all too frequent task of trying to remember my dreams just as I'm waking up, and just as they're slipping away. I guess there's just a lot I need to get used to.
5.1.11
Fancy
So maybe the cubicle is kind of lame, and I don't really dig wearing office-casual shoes, but working on a four-person media team for the American English Language Teaching division of a world-famous publishing house? Excellent.
2.1.11
Lo-Res
I like to think I started a tradition for myself with last year's recap of the top ten great things I'd done with my life since the previous year. My reasoning: there are lots of things I'd love to do, promise to complete, aspire to finish, etc. -- what better way to self-fulfillment than reflection and a little pat on the back?
In no particular order:
1. Reunited with my family on my native turf.
2. WWOOFed for real!
3. Visited all three major parlimentary capitals of the EU (The Hague, Luxembourg, Brussels).
4. Said goodbye to my life in the Vosges.
5. Moved to New York City with someone I love.
6. Joined an orchestra.
7. Got into graduate school (I start in two weeks!).
8. Bought my first grown-up Christmas tree.
9. Got a real-ish job (I start in two days!).
10. Went on a Belgian adventure with a great friend.
I like how diverse my lists are -- my life seems to run on seasonal semesters, and so a January-to-January summary will span several very different periods. The New Year's Eve celebrations alone are enough to warrant their own list (maybe in 8 years?) -- this time last year I was in Paris, miserable and alone, sitting at a bar so I could at least be in public to listen to the Parisiens count down to midnight: "Dix, neuf, huit..." Pathetic. This year was a bit more social: Don and I went to his improviser-friend's apartment in Chinatown for a party, which was fun until we tried getting a cab... (think of the elements in this equation: 2:30am, Lower East Side, Snooki-lookalikes...).
It has been, finalement, a pretty interesting and rather rough year. The transition from alpine tranquillity to the harried New York life has not been easy, nor has the adjustment of living with a significant other (the rewards, needless to say, always outweigh stress). I'm still very much set on retiring to the Vosges one day -- or the Berkshires, whatever -- but I think for the moment, the city life suits me well. It would be a crying shame to have finally begun living the New York lifestyle proper -- by which I mean taking advantage of everything the city has to offer, not shopping at Hermes and spilling coffee on commuters -- only to escape from its frenetic grip prematurely. I'm going to stick this one out.
In no particular order:
1. Reunited with my family on my native turf.
2. WWOOFed for real!
3. Visited all three major parlimentary capitals of the EU (The Hague, Luxembourg, Brussels).
4. Said goodbye to my life in the Vosges.
5. Moved to New York City with someone I love.
6. Joined an orchestra.
7. Got into graduate school (I start in two weeks!).
8. Bought my first grown-up Christmas tree.
9. Got a real-ish job (I start in two days!).
10. Went on a Belgian adventure with a great friend.
I like how diverse my lists are -- my life seems to run on seasonal semesters, and so a January-to-January summary will span several very different periods. The New Year's Eve celebrations alone are enough to warrant their own list (maybe in 8 years?) -- this time last year I was in Paris, miserable and alone, sitting at a bar so I could at least be in public to listen to the Parisiens count down to midnight: "Dix, neuf, huit..." Pathetic. This year was a bit more social: Don and I went to his improviser-friend's apartment in Chinatown for a party, which was fun until we tried getting a cab... (think of the elements in this equation: 2:30am, Lower East Side, Snooki-lookalikes...).
It has been, finalement, a pretty interesting and rather rough year. The transition from alpine tranquillity to the harried New York life has not been easy, nor has the adjustment of living with a significant other (the rewards, needless to say, always outweigh stress). I'm still very much set on retiring to the Vosges one day -- or the Berkshires, whatever -- but I think for the moment, the city life suits me well. It would be a crying shame to have finally begun living the New York lifestyle proper -- by which I mean taking advantage of everything the city has to offer, not shopping at Hermes and spilling coffee on commuters -- only to escape from its frenetic grip prematurely. I'm going to stick this one out.
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